Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
