sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
