at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
