So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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