Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
