My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up under a house in Key West
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
