You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
