return my video game
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
