I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
