so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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