His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
