I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
