Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
