i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
