do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
