Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
