I think im going to throw up on grandma
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
handjob tips. give me some.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
