Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
