i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
