i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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