Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
