Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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