i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
