Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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