I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
