brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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