its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
