plz talk dirty to me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
