i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
