im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
