Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
