Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
