Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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