How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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