He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
