Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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