i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
