she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
