Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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