hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
being pregnant is like rehab
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
