Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
A+ Viking dick
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
