I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
