She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
