Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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