i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
