this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
