woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
