I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
