When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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