How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
